sometimes I wonder…

what was he feeling when he realized that he didn’t love me any more? what was he doing in that moment? was he reading? was he working or eating? was he in the shower? did he just wake up one morning and feel the lack of love for me? I wonder how you can keep someone,for four years, so close to you just to one day stop caring. Was it happening gradually and I didn’t even notice? How do you just stop loving someone? How do you just stop caring? It has been a month and I still can’t fathom how this happened; how we just fell apart and he acts like nothing I’ve ever done for him even mattered. It hurts. It hurts to be apart of someone’s life for so long just to find out that for months, I didn’t even matter. I have found someone who makes me happy and who doesn’t take me for granted and yet it still hurts because for so long I have tried to make things work and all that time, he didn’t even love me. Now I’m too scared to start again; I’m so nervous that I will make the same mistakes…. what was he doing the moment he realized he didn’t love me anymore? what did I do wrong?

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